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You know when
#1559496
08/01/2016 14:59
08/01/2016 14:59
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Big_Muzzie
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Big_Muzzie
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You know two people in your office are having an affair, one is single (divorce) the other has 3 kiddies and is married. I'm pretty certain he's done it a fee times with colleagues before and I have dropped hits that he's being a dick but they've fallen on deaf ears obviously... He's worked here a fair while, she's a student placement (albeit an older student, late 20's)
Should something be said or do I leave it?
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559500
08/01/2016 15:15
08/01/2016 15:15
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,988 Sunny Darlo
Wishy
Forum is my life
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Forum is my life
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,988
Sunny Darlo
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Personally, other than dropping a hint confirming what you think of it (as you've already done) I'd stay waaaay away from the situation. IMHO.
Last edited by Wishy; 08/01/2016 15:16. Reason: Changed nuances
Up yours Photobucket.
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559504
08/01/2016 15:19
08/01/2016 15:19
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Both other victims have since resigned.... They've been spotted by 2 different members of my team this time round, don't believe they're aware of this either....
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559507
08/01/2016 16:01
08/01/2016 16:01
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 6,731 Surrey
Emjay
Forum is my life
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Forum is my life
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 6,731
Surrey
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Difficult one. Personally I would want to do something, however I have done in the past and feel equipped to do so. It is not something I can blithely recommend others to do. Sticking your oar in could make the situation worse. There is also little point dropping hints - you either get involved or you don't.
If you wanted to do something can I suggest a different approach to confrontation or hints, albeit one that may require more time and commitment. Get to know the person who is married, talk to them about their family and how they met their other half, invite them and their spouse (and kids) to things with you and your other half, get to know their family and become a part of strengthening their relationship and helping her refocus her attention and help the workplace become somewhere where she is not isolated from her husband and family, but they have a connection with (which can happen even from something just as simple as talking in the workplace about them).
Does our law condemn a man without first hearing him to find out what he has been doing? (John 7:51)
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559508
08/01/2016 16:11
08/01/2016 16:11
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patch234
Unregistered
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patch234
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My position on this would be to leave well alone. Not my business! I know that sounds kinda rude. But what maybe happening here is a emotive subject for all people involved. Even more reason to steer clear IMO
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559509
08/01/2016 16:17
08/01/2016 16:17
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Emjay, I worked with the guy for 4 years so I know him quite well. Previously these affairs have been lesser noted, this one is fair too obvious.
I know what you mean Phil, it's just hard to sit back and watch...
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559513
08/01/2016 17:16
08/01/2016 17:16
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783 In the coupe.
magooagain
Club Member 259
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Club Member 259
Forum is my life
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783
In the coupe.
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Muzzie as you say you know him reasonably well,take him to one side and tell him he is being a dick then walk away and say nowt to anyone.
If not leave alone as others have said. Good luck.
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559523
08/01/2016 17:35
08/01/2016 17:35
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 754 The South of the West
JonH
Enjoying the ride
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Enjoying the ride
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 754
The South of the West
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Unless you are his parent then there's not a lot you should be doing. If his way (and hers - you may not know fully her conscious levels of awareness?) of being an adult is by being idiots then so be it.
And what of course would interfering do, to someone who seems to have that way as his/her life mission ?. Stopping this one will only make the next one happen sooner ????.
No.199
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559530
08/01/2016 18:29
08/01/2016 18:29
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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All very valid points, I can feel an overwhelming "leave the dick to it" theme. There are underlying issues for me though:
He seems to be on self destruct, I've thought this for a while and it seems to be snowballing.
Usually there is an underlying reason for things to happen Rich, powerful bloke young flirty thing blah blah blah. That's not him, so I'm not sure how the situation has occurred. Previous ladies it made some sense, this one doesn't...
My main worry is he's in a role through internal experience, not through qualifications and would be down at least 30% pay working else where. As this attempt to boost his ego or whatever it is is far more public knowledge the chances are it will damage his career, he has 3 kids and a wife to support, I don't want to see him totally messing it all up!
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Re: You know when
[Re: whatmoretyres]
#1559835
11/01/2016 19:52
11/01/2016 19:52
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RoyH
Unregistered
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RoyH
Unregistered
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Just show him this thread.......
That should do it
Roy
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559873
12/01/2016 07:34
12/01/2016 07:34
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patch234
Unregistered
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patch234
Unregistered
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Here's something for you to ponder over!
Last edited by patch234; 12/01/2016 07:35. Reason: Forum spell correct Grrr!
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1559928
12/01/2016 14:30
12/01/2016 14:30
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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I've left him to it. They've planted daffodils together today....
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Re: You know when
[Re: ]
#1561470
25/01/2016 21:11
25/01/2016 21:11
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Big_Muzzie
Unregistered
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Update :
Last 2 Fridays I've heard him ring his wife to say he'll be late, then he leaves on time. Tonight he runs out of a meeting, panics around and rushes out. I followed 10 minutes later to find her car pulling out of the train station (he gets train home) and who's sat in the passenger seat?? Yep it's him.
I was in the left lane, she was in the right. The lights went red and I had to wait a good few minutes, strangely the road next to me was empty as she left half a car length behind me so as not to come level. On driving past them he saw me and I saw him, although he hunched over and tried to hide....
I also think he's getting a lift in so getting the train from home to her nearest station. The daffodils are also like children to them... It's a little scary
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