http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-16563362

they always taughrt us not to get involved. I think the problem is that the leads have gone cold.

"Also, anyone who is offered tortoises in unusual circumstances should report it."

I'll bet he had the turtle's head when he noticed his car was gone I suspect if they do find the car it'll just be a burnt out shell, and I think both will have more than just one foot in the grave

Lettuce hope not!

I bet the marinated one would be tasty.

Reminds me of the old Ian Botham/turtle soup joke.... I'm sure you don't want me to type it all out, and would only appeal to 50 year-old cricket fans.........

It's got to be the work of Islamist terrapins

See what you did there Brian

Incidentally up here it's pronounced Tor-toys, I've never got used to that.

Jeeeessh -

you are not going to believe this, but I just returned home to find my house full of water, a duck swimming in the kitchen sink, and my wife telling me at length what a just basically nice guy I am. I was just trying to cope with this information overload when there was a knock at the door -

some guy asking if I'd like to buy a tortoise.

Cheer up; here's some cute overload.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjZqZWbmXK4

Cute!
Tortoise was asked the name of what he was carrying on his back.?
"It's Michelle" he replied.