In a few months' time we (my good lady and I) are going to an event and, for some inexplicable reason it is fancy dress.

Any realistic costume ideas?

Various thoughts: Take helium balloons and go as the old guy from Up; Wall-E.

Mrs J is thinking about going as

Saw a couple of guys dressed as Sully and Mike from Monsters Inc. The Sully one was better.

Well I'm sure we're all keen to see your Woody.

Can't you go as an angle poise lamp?

Apparently that's 'not the done thing' at a three year old's birthday party. It's political correctness gone mad in these post-Savile days I tell you.

Lightening McQueen and Sally

Depending on the size of the party, it's pretty likely that another couple will do Woody and Jessie/Bo Peep.

Nemo and Dory? Mr and Mrs Incredible?

Snow White and Dopey?

Whilst I do have a full lips as red as the rose and skin white as snow, I feel that's a bit harsh on Mrs J.

I would expect over a hundred people, so Mrs J will not be the only Jessie there (and, yes, that includes her husband - how very amusing you all are).

Other overnight ideas - Bert (Mary Poppins), the chef from Ratatouille.

I toyed with the idea of going as Bert to a fancy dress party a few years ago. It was a toss up between Bert as a chimney sweep or one man band.

I went as Forrest Gump in the end, leg braces and all.

Tom Lawyer?

Mr and Mrs Potato-head?

You don't want to give him a chip on his shoulder..