Hello,

I have the honour of being best man at my friends wedding soon.

I've never given a best mans speech before and am not the best public speaker.

Anyone got any tips on speeking in public or how to write the speech?

Thanks,

Matt

Yes bung some good jokes in about your mate, find some generic jokes, brief history of your times together, how you met etc, say how lovely the bride looks, type it up in small chunks are read it aloud to your shiela until it is spot on.

As you go last it's like creeping death on the day

I have the speech I did for my mate somewhere, am happy to email it to you if you want. It's a great honour, enjoy !

On the plus side, afterwards it's like a massive, heavy person has just climbed off your shoulders and you can then enjoy the reception and brides maides!

I bought a little book from smiths for a pound or two to start me off and as above, filled in the details. If it helps, I started with... "FORNICATION!!..... oops sorry, that should say ' For an occasion' " Putty in my hands after that!

Where's Emjay? He usually has some good advice on this.

Aim for between 5-10 mins, no longer unless you are an amazing stand-up comedian.

I did some NLP before doing mine to combat the nerves!

I had the honour of being a Best Man for the first time ever last year and my speech was 16 minutes and involved some props too! Brought the house down though and I was getting pats on the back, drinks bought for me and propositions from ladies all night...

I was terribly nervous beforehand but rehearsed like mad to the point I could deliver it from memory as to me there's nothing worse that listening to a speech that's just being read word for word from a piece of paper with head down and not engaging the audience. If you can't work from memory, use cue-cards with key words on so you only need to glance down occasionally.

The rough structure of mine was:

1. Opening joke at my own expense + comment about 'what goes on tour stays on tour' in reference to the Stag do to break the ice.
2. Thank the Groom for his kind words on behalf of the Bridesmaids.
3. Thank the parents of Bride & Groom, repeat how stunning the Bride looks.
4. Funny/slightly embarrassing story about Groom as a boy (from his sister).
5. How I met the groom, and a funny tale about those early years as mates.
6. Showed audience embarrassing pictures of Groom (pictures were hidden in envelopes under the tables).
7. Read out a spoof telegram about Groom's antics early in his career.
8. Thanked Groom for asking me to be his Best Man, how special a friend he is, etc.
9. Serious piece of advice about marriage (obtained from the web).
10. Toasts to the Bride & Groom - job done!

It's worth remembering that the audience want you to do well so will laugh at pretty much anything! But don't get too close to the bone with the Groom and only be complimentary about the Bride & Bridesmaids. Avoid gags from the web if possible as most have been heard.

If you're going for big gags think about how to deliver them with appropriate pace and emphasis, allow time for people to laugh then settle but not too long such that they lose focus on you. I had to wait quite a while at certain points as people were laughing so long!

Matt - my one piece of advice; tell your mate to ask jas_racing to do it

You'll have people laughing before you speak, they just have to see that red-faced penguin walking about and it'll kill em

Do a google search on what a best man should say then ignore all of it, there's nothing worse than a best man that can't be original!

We've had a few decent threads on this, hopefully the below will help.

http://www.fiatcoupeclub.org/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1223993#Post1223993

http://www.fiatcoupeclub.org/forum/ubbthreads.ph...rue#Post1088848

http://www.fiatcoupeclub.org/forum/ubbthreads.ph...true#Post904509

Some basics:

When preparing: remember, this is not you speaking to a few mates.

Beforehand: Practise saying the speech out loud.

During: Look up; Speak at a measured pace; Pause regularly; Smile.

This may sound simple but the worst speeches are generally not down to content but delivery. A bad joke delivered well is much better than a good joke delivered badly. When you are confident in your delivery it will come across and they will love it.

One bit of advise would be, given the fact you say that you're not the best of public speakers....Record yourself. Listen & although we are all critical of ourselves any glaring faults in speech delivery will be obvious.

One thing that I always feel lets some speakers down, is the Scottish football manager syndrome..... Too serious & between sentences they say.... eh, erm, over & over, ending up sounding like a human engine.

Just my observation.

I had the pleasure of speaking as best man last year.

My suggestion would be (in order)
(i) jot down over a period of a few weeks a load of memorable stuff about the groom. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything else
(ii) choose a theme you want to run with around which you will fit your material
(iii) take three "template" structures from a book. Make notes around those. Put them to one side. Write your own structure - make it basic - the aim should be not to miss anything "important" like saying the bride is lovely.
(iv) choose at least one "visual" aid - in my case I gave the groom a cap with "I Love XXX" embroidered on it and figure out how to work it in. I know the guy still has it and puts it on when he is in trouble with his wife.
(v) fit your material around your structure and your theme and try and come up with some jokes. This may take a few weeks of coming back to it and tinkering, but you will eventually find it starts to click.
(vi) where you are struggling for jokes have a look on the net and weave them into your material. If you PM me I can make a suggestion for this and give you a username/password.

Remember - No-one expects you to turn into a stand up comedian. It is one of the few times in your life when everyone in the room is willing you to do well and they want to laugh at your jokes - they don't have to be amazing, just jokes. Making people laugh is important, but that comes naturally and if you put plenty of thought into getting decent material together, arranging it nicely around a theme and then delivering it as per Emjay's advice.

Oh, and make it clean - don't say something that grandma won't be happy with. You need to make people laugh with the groom and you should not say anything that will call into question his good character.

A lot more people are having the speeches before the food, we did this with ours. It's a lot easier on the people who will be making the speeches plus you can then enjoy your food.

Yep we did this too....all agreed it was better all round.

I enjoyed the food (and alcohol !! ) much more knowing it was out of the way!!

Some great advice above on the speech and delivery, not much to add to it really.

Having though attended quite a few weddings this last couple of years I have heard a few criticisms of the speeches of groom and best man

Ensure you find and read out ALL the cards and messages from those unable to attend the wedding. To some older folks this element is especially important.

Also check with the groom to see if any familly members are ill or worse have recently passed. Ensure that at least one of you mentions them and how much they are being missed at the event.

Other (Traditional) duties usually include:
Escorting the chief bridesmaid out of the church / place of service.
Assisting the photographer with organising people for the photographs.
Dancing with the chief bridesmaid once the bride and groom have completed their first dance.

I had the pleasure of being best man, the speech went really well. People patting my back afterwards, however pretty much every bloke in my direct family began crying.. very worrying!

Get a good solid friend that has spoken before to help you right it, funny memories are always good, plenty of smiling whilst delivering the speech. Props work well I wish I had a video of the last wedding I went to where they had a timeline of the grooms life with it ending as himself with a life size Tin tin cut out! Best bit of advice is to practice the speech out loud, get the pitch and tone of your voice right for the delivery, maybe get someone to listen to you so you know how uncomfortable it is to speak out aloud. Gets rid of any gremlins.


DONT

Swear
Drink too much - a glass or 2 first..max !
Dont make it up as you go along, sometimes you have to make up the odd bit-

My voice had a dodgy spell when I stood up, had to make a quick joke about puberty! (Went down a storm as look like im barely 18!)

DONT - CONT

Crack in jokes that nobody else will know
Speak to fast

If you can get someone to film it on a phone or decent camera or even video camera it will be good to look back on in years to come

Also so we can watch! haha!

Best of luck!

Thanks guys, I appreciate all the help.

Except Proctard, he's just a nob!