well done guys, funniest thing ive read in months...and all so true!

135: Never waste more than a minute trying to explain a coop in-joke to the missus - she's really not interested

135a: decide she must just not be getting it and carry on anyway :-)


...now im off to try rule 123 :-o

[quote=ally_f]well done guys%

136) Attempt to close the boot 3 times before discovering the object that is in the way of those huge hinges.

137) Close boot only to find it doesn't latch and have 3 attempts at sorting that out.

138) On a foggy/misty night open the bonnet fully and put her on full beam, re-enacting the searchlights over london during the blitz.

139) Convince Alternative Autos that it should have a loyalty card scheme.

140) don't go to meets, it'll only cost you a fortune doing something someone else has done!

No, that's just chrono grey

141) Petrol filler cap: looks nice, right up until the moment it bubbles up
142) Round rear lights: see above
143) By all means get Zender bumpers and side skirts. By all means get LE side skirts and bumpers. But pretty please.. with sugar on top.. don’t mix and match, it just doesn’t look right
144) Get used to everyone who sees it for the first time saying “I nearly bought one of these”... moments after they said “what car is this?”
145) Pay more attention looking what bloody number we're up to before posting a new rule

146. Immediately upon purchase of vehicle arrange to have salary paid direct to mechanic, who will then issue you with housekeeping and beer money if any of your salary is left over.

Rule 146 should in fact be rule 1. Great thread.

Rule 147. If the Turbo starts to smoke mortgage your house and buy shares in your local Garage.

148. Join the forum and help with important research such as "How heavy is your head?"

149. Post your opinion on the importance of the red key:
It's essential (I've got one)
Lot of fuss about nothing (I haven't got one)

Also too add to rule number 7. Any coop owner who gets flashed or waved @ and completely ignores you should be reported ASAP with number plate if possible. We need an offenders list .

107A. In winter be confident that even if said theiving rouge gets in and starts her up, the handbrake will be frozen solid so he still won't get away.

(Paintermans 107 guess he can't count so well)

108. No matter how much money you spend on your car or how lovingly you treat it, there is always some niggle that appears every now and again to annoy you.

Hope I havn't mucked this up putting in 107A. Should be rule 149 next.

I was driving through Newcastle actually side by side with an identical 20VT to mine and the guy never even looked - despite my wife's fervent attempts to get him to wave!

oh my god how funny an i thought it was just mine coz ive bought a pile of cxxp !! bleedin ashtray! (19)

149) NEVER ever say you are leaving the fold for good, unless you REALLY REALLY mean it. (and even then, you'll probably find yourself on auto trader just "having a look, that's all")

150. when your filling up AGAIN and the vectra driving rep you just left for dead several miles back pulls up at the pump beside you and says, 'bloody quick old alfa mate..is it a v6??'....get used to just nodding in quiet agreement...life is too short to educate the uneducateable...

151. always, ALWAYS tell your mates that whilst your car may be an 'old fiat' to them, it is actually a virtually handbuilt italian supercar, built by a company that made some of the worlds most exotic cars, just so they can go to work the next day and say, 'christ, didnt know his old alfa was built by peter farina'....

152 teese and then annoy bmw drivers

153) Outrage other Coupe Turbo owners by pointing out that Coupes really aren't that fast.

154a) When telling the missus how much the work done on your Coupe costs, always remember it's half of what it actually was. Unless it's really expensive, in which case it's quarter
154b) Also, those jobs were "essential maintenance" and not "un-necessary performance upgrades". Ain't that right Nigel?!

155) when you catch wind of someone talking about the coupe on general car forums (i.e. evo, pistonheads) you HAVE to post a comment to go the mecca that is FCCUK.

156) You get asked 'where's the spikey things on your wheels mate?' from Top Gear enthusiasts......

157) Hope to one day see a pearl white one in the flesh.

158) Fit HID's, the transformation is immense.

159. It is frowned upon to modify a 20vt coupe to 250 bhp, but 300+ bhp is fine, and highly recommended

155a) You should also inform FCCUK that said conversation is taking place and provide links, so that we can all go and check the accuracy of any claims made and then return to the forum to flame whatever was said (regardless of accuracy of statement)

Davejones rule 138 The search light idea is brillant can't belive i never thought to do that!

This should be done at the next big meet, see if we can get the RAF to have a look or maybe even ET!

Ha Ha, I do it every time the bonnet's open at night!

Ha ha too true

A mate who uses the same mechanic as me (Matt Saunders)came up to me in the pub tonight:

"Matt's worried about you" he said.
"Why's that?"
"He hasn't seen you all day." lol

To think I once had a Mazda MX5 which needed so little seeing to I couldn't even remember who my mechanic was.

43) Remember that all the inferior coupes are devolved forms of the epitome of excellence - the 16v NA.

The original and purest coupe, anything else has just got go-faster bits on it.

ever heard of evolution ?

is a Delta 'Grale 8V better than an Evo II ? - I think not !

Actually, the Integrale has far more class. I am a 48 y.o. semi-dinosaur with a GPX600 who's pastime is racing a carbon cycle on pseudo-motorways wearing a pointy hat. Evolution is not always for the better, we're just told it is ...

160) At the end of day..all Coupes are loverly