49] handbook update...

The A/C button to be used on hill descent only ..

you dont need the 1.5 horse power, less pad wear & cool

those discs !

50/
If any any time the car fails to proceed or start it will do so at the worst possible time. Such as when you are miles from home, late for something or most likely both.

51. never take it to a fiat dealership to be repaired as
a) they won't have a clue what it is
b) you will have to put the coupe on sorn until the parts arrive
c) they will quote you more than the coupe is worth to fix it and that is just for a cambelt change

52. You must always find yourself trying to explain why you bought the car and that it's actually faster than the squeaking brakes suggest

53. Every time you put your foot to the floor you should notice that your coop doesn't feel as fast as it did yesterday and certainly not as fast as when you first got it. At this point you should crank up the boost a bit more until the inevitable happens, flame the car for being unreliable then buy another and start all over

54. Never make physical contact with the drivers side bolster as you get in and out of the coupe, or it will disintegrate.

55. Wear your LE Jacket to bed.

56. Have your brother take the coop for a spin while videoing it and try not saying "F#$king Hell! What a sound!"

57. Blast it in 2nd off all roundabouts, especially past vans or lorries to hear the reflected sound of that awesome 5 pot and turbo singing!

58. Put the highest octane fuel in possible and drink one less pint at the weekend to make up the economic difference. Or not.

59. Push start buttons should be pressed by the passenger every time, its cool!

60. At least once put some ski's through the ski hatch.

61. Drive to italy.

62. Book to fix the air-con in the summer only not to bother as the forecast is awful.

63. Prove how easy it is to damage the rubber finish on the centre console by marking it with your finger nail "see, I told you!"

64. Carry in the boot the:-

a. turbo timer you haven't fitted
b. the boost guage you haven't fitted
c. the new indicator stalks you haven't fitted
d. the auxillary belt that snapped weeks ago

65. Smile in amazement the one in fifty time that the indicator self cancels

66. It feels strangley good filling up with that petrol filler....exotic even.

67. Explain how the hell it spells 'pininfarina' and who it is on the dash.

68. Laugh every time you have to use that 'yes it has oil - no it doesn't' informative dipstick.

A sad but true fact of ownership. Made me laugh

Glad i'm not the only one, it's like "see, you can do it!"

Unless they think it's a Lamborghini, in which case they're just thick

69. It is the law to accelerate as hard as possible on all slip roads onto motorways.

70. You must at least once attempt to get your girlfriend/wife’s ankles into the grab handles…

71)
Never buy wheels on the basis of a monkey telling you over the phone they'll fit and Cclear your Brembos with no spacers and wobbly bolts before cheeking the Wheel Fitment Guide.

72. You take a huge dislike to birds when they continually sh!t on 'her'.

73. You have to call it 'her'

74. You hate seeing mis-spaced number plates on cars other than coops

75. Squeeze 3 people in the back while strapping the suitcase into the front seat cos it has knowhere to go when picking up friends from the airport.

76. Secretly wish there was a 75 mpg diesel version you could use for town commuting, then swap with your normal coop once out of town.

77. You must park at least 5 miles away when you go to Tescos to avoid parking dinks

78. Never use the windscreen wash with the windows open you will get a mouthfull of it, if you insist on doing this buy some apple flavour

79. If you have the Zender sideskirts you need to perfect the ministry of silly walks for getting out of the car to avoid scratches

80. You suddenly without warning accelerate in first with a female passenger to hear them shriek! (kind of like sex noises, its a good thing!)

81. Be prepared for people to decribe you to others as 'he has a nice car'. Or I've had 'he's fit, and has a lush car' Disclaimer: TRUE STORY (although it was in the dark......they couldn't see the paint swirls )

70a) You must at least once attempt to get your someone else's girlfriend/wife’s ankles into the grab handles…

82. If someone asks what you drive before they have seen it the correct response is "Just an old Fiat".

[b][/b]What sort of birds do you date!!!!!

Ha ha. Ok, so I should have been more precise......note for rule number 72, insert 'of the feathered kind' after the word 'birds'....'

Sorted!

Re: 48
.....ur, or you could adjust the little stoppers so it will open....... sorry......

83. You must occasionally look in the Rolling Road section, they appear to be talking but not in any language known to man…this will stop you from any future thoughts of increasing the engine power.

84. You must have a least one full blow F1 style race with a £200k + supercar and beat it... but only on a DC with two roundabouts... cos thats where you pull 2 car lengths in front

85. All races must be posted on a forum to do with said car and at least 87.48% of the story must be vastly stretched lie's

86. For photographic purposes the Coupe looks best at sunset or sunrise due to the soft light conditions.

87. Metallic colours are better because they have a greater light contrast which highlights the curves and the bumps, and they sparkle in the sunshine

88. For photographic purposes the Coupe looks best in the middle of the day with the sun shining on it.

89. Base colours are better because they are more vibrant and saturated.

90. For photographic purposes the Coupe looks best in the rain with the water beading off it.

91. Metallic colours are better because of rule 1b.

92. Only touch the central dash buttons with a softness of touch that would not even cause a strawweight five minute old kitten with inner ear imbalance problems to fall over, for fear of pushing the whole lot through the back (again).

93. Convince yourself that a decat on standard turbo will not make it smoke.
94. 3 weeks after buying a decat, upgrade the turbo due to leaking oil seals.

95) proclaim that *20V N/A's are just as fast as 20VT's 'in the real world' *as posted by 20V N/A owners

96) Have a glance back at her after you've parked up

97) Swich off stereo, open windows, drop to lower gear in preparation for entering tunnels

98) Ask if 225's offer more grip that 205's then set off *yet* another heated debate

99) Never use the handbrake between the months of October and March

100) forget listening to the footy on 5live on sat at 3 pm while sat in b&q car park.......

101) Use the 16VT as your daily commuter for three weeks, then swap back to the spare car due to crippling fuel bills.

102) For health and safety reasons, when re-fuelling your Coupe do NOT look at the price on the petrol pump if you have any of the following conditions: Low blood pressure, high blood pressure, any blood pressure

103)Use the Funky Windscreen Washers at any given excuse.
Be sure to demonstrate the Funky Windscreen Washers to any passengers. Whether or not they are interested is immaterial.

104)If you dislike the lack of space in the engine bay, try working on a Renault Clio 16V/Williams for a week.

Yay - I'm not the only one who can't read the damn thing. It's as useful as a chocolate teapot



69a. When doing this be prepared for the inevitable four wheel drift and near death experience you will have

105: When meeting other people who have seen a Coupe before be prepared to hear "Oh yeah - my mate killed himself in one of those"