An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using. I even unplugged my own.
An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’
Pinched this one from my Shell Tanker Fleet Facebook group.
Don't Trust Alexa
Joe : Alexa, I am feeling that I want to have sex.
Alexa : Most certainly... Don't worry. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 C degrees. The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The gel is kept next to it. I have hired your favorite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her Uber ride status. I have scheduled her payment from your credit card 2 hours from now. I have checked your wife's GPS and she is shopping in a suburban mall. According to her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours, plus according to Google maps traffic analysis, more than 1 hour to reach home. Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of the living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet. This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart.... This is called true Artificial Intelligence...
MEANWHILE......
Wife: Alexa, have you set it up?
Alexa: Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours. If you take an Uber home, you will be there in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold. I've got your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, case documents are drafted and will be completed tomorrow, $1 M. damages plus $10,000 per month alimony. All set. Your Uber is waiting outside.
... (After all, Alexa is a female)
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using. I even unplugged my own.
There are quite a lot of us, 3200 at the moment. The oldest members first went to sea in the 1950s, when the Shell fleet was around 100 ships, that was the UK fleet alone.
We have members who are still at sea today so with the internet being available pretty well everywhere, even in the middle of an ocean, we get posts from all over. Some nostalgia, some current issues.
It has changed enormously from my time in the 1960's when it was fun, I visited about 80 different countries geographically diverse from South America, Carribean, West Africa, Northwest Europe, Mediterranean, Persian Gulf, Indian sub continent, Far East, Australia + NZ in my first year at sea. had my 18th birthday in Wellington NZ. Saw the whole sky lit up going into Auckland when the USA detonated a nuclear bomb in space 2000 odd miles away.
A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'
He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'
So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.
One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
She said, 'That was incredible!'
He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.
He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'
'No,' she said,
'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey'.
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using. I even unplugged my own.
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out... "Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with it." Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it."
So.......Paw mosies out to the outhouse, looks around, and yells back, "Ma there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse honey! " Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Payells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around, and yells back,"Ma-dadgummit there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Ma - Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?"
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using. I even unplugged my own.
![[Linked Image]](https://ntswebco.com/fcz/fc_newsig.jpg)
