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coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140783
28/06/2006 13:32
28/06/2006 13:32
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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I know that this has been covered before but really feel that it needs raising again - is the Coupe vs. section really necessary on this forum?
The forum is a great resource and most people quite sensible and responsible. However, surely the inclusion of such a section only encourages the idiots amongst us.
Any 'road race' does not necessary prove cars ability or driver ability, just who is prepared to take the bigger risk or who is most stupid.
OK, who the fccuk am I to ask for it to be removed? Just an ordinary guy with a wife and kids who does not fancy any of them being wiped out by people racing at stupid speeds on public roads. OK so removing the section will not stop people racing but will at least not be encouraging it.
Probably everyone on this forum, including myself, like powerful cars and speed. However, the adrenaline rush from a head to head race affects sensible thought and it should not be encouraged in any way.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140784
28/06/2006 14:59
28/06/2006 14:59
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,033
I WANT F40
S1MMA
Competition Level
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Competition Level
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,033
I WANT F40
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I appreciate your point ponsonby, and I also would not want anyone I cared for to be hurt as a result of a road race or similar (neither would anyone else - so no one can condone this point).
When it comes down to "does the coupe VS forum actually encouraging people on here to race other", I'm not sure if it does. I think most if not all the people on here will weigh up the risk of each situation and make a judgement whether or not its worth them giving it some or not. I don't think people think "ooooo, another race - lets make sure I drive like a [Email]tw@t[/Email] through a 30 zone at 150 so I can post on the coupe vs forum and state another win".
Other forums, with cars that are more accessible to younger crowds could be susceptible to this kind of pressure, but I think that most of the coupe owners on here are fairly mature. I myself never really speed in built up areas, and keep to 30 in 30 zones (annoying many company car drivers in the process), but on non-urban A roads or motorways I admit that I enjoy the car to higher limits. As I expect most if not all of the owners on here do the same.
In the lot of the posts in the coupe vs forum, they end by saying "the chap driving XYZ then proceeded to a) do some silly overtake so I let him go, b) speed through a built up area so I let him go, c) was so far behind that I slowed down to a cruise and let him go". Ultimately you will never stop this sort of thing occurring, but it's nice to see that the peeps on here usually have their limits and boundaries well set out. This isn't a defense of the coupe vs forum, or racing, but I think it gives a bit of fun and some nice reading once in a while. It's also educational - as people will realise that there's a time when you should break off and drive back at the speed limit instead of showing off or driving dangerously.
Sideways a LOT
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140785
28/06/2006 15:26
28/06/2006 15:26
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I couldn't agree more with "posonby". I'm relatively new to the club/ forum but the whole "Coupe Vs" section makes me cringe. When you see blokes regaling tales of "taking on" XR2's, Chimera's, Boxter S's etc, it's all a bit "my dix bigger than yours" stuff.
But, then again, I'm a 41 year old-git, so who am I to butt in!
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140786
28/06/2006 15:42
28/06/2006 15:42
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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I agree that 99% of what gets posted on the "vs" forum is pointless willy-waving, but it's easy enough to ignore (as I do ... most of the time).
If there wasn't a special place for it, and I mean "special" in the "special bus" sense, then it would just turn up in other forums, so I say let the dedicated forum stay.
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140787
28/06/2006 15:55
28/06/2006 15:55
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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It originally started as a single thread that got so stupidly large it was impossible to maintain (even caused some database issues). So it got a section. Even further back in time, it was a thread that discussed the relative merits of other cars compared to the Coupe rather than "I raced a milk float, it got me off the line due to the torque at zero revs from the electric motor but once into 3rd I cruised past" which it mostly contains now. I think there is a degree of exaggeration in there, take the stories with the tongue firmly in cheek, or just don't read it. Some of the stuff in there is geniunely interesting and indeed funny, especially when the other party finds its way here to give the other side 
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140789
28/06/2006 16:06
28/06/2006 16:06
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I agree it doesn't do the forum any favours. There's been some really alarming stuff on there in recent times, where people have been boasting about harassing innocent motorists, reaching break neck speeds in restricted areas, and in one incident, encouraging a driver to drive beyond his abilities and lose control of his car. We all have 'encounters' but why do people feel the need to boast about them?. What does it prove exactly that you had more balls the guy in the Boxster and out braked him, or got to the next roundabout quicker than him. Plus the constant insinuation that anyone driving a BMW is 'fair game' and should be punished. So if I borrow my brother's BM for the day, are you going to hunt me down and teach me a lesson.? Get a grip. Some bright spark will pipe up in a minute saying . "If you dont like it, dont read it. ".  As AndrewR has pointed out. At least it now has a 'special' place.
Last edited by cosmograph; 28/06/2006 16:07.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140790
28/06/2006 16:38
28/06/2006 16:38
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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The only objection I have to the Coupe Vs section is that it takes the fun out of many potential run ins because I'll see a car, think "I saw a Coupe Vs post about that car and know my car is faster" and then decide to save my petrol
So, ponsonby, the Coupe Vs section could be having the opposite effect as I now rarely see anything worth having a go against (I don't do many miles and most are in 30 limits)
As Simma says, on the rare occasions I have raced it wasn't because I was thinking "I'll post this on the internet afterwards" it was just a spur of the moment thing and always on pretty straight roads where I know the car is going to stick to the roads.
I find racing a bit embarrassing and usually only do it if the other driver is up for it. I'd feel a right div reving my car at the lights trying to show off, but if the guy next to me in a 1.2 Saxo wants to do that then I'll happily humour him
I like reading the Coupe Vs section but it's a little sterile when people bring out the stats and say "a standard coupe should beat an x, y, z". Takes the fun out of it if we already know the outcome. Perhaps next time some one revs their car at the lights we should get them to pull over, invite them round to look up the stats online and offer a paper victory?!
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140791
28/06/2006 16:43
28/06/2006 16:43
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I think if the Coupe Vs. section was removed then we would still have several Coupe Vs. threads floating around the forum. Personally i say keep it, but only becuase it keeps all those type of stories in one place which can be easily avoided or perused by those that wish to.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140792
28/06/2006 17:44
28/06/2006 17:44
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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i find the vs thread quite ammusing, yes i'm sure theirs lots of porkies being told but that makes it ammusing, if you dont like it dont read it
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140794
28/06/2006 17:54
28/06/2006 17:54
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Every forum should have one, it helps people know what the car is capable off. It hardly hurts you not to enter that section if you dont want too does it, its simple if you dont like it dont read it, and if you do, read it and enjoy.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140795
28/06/2006 18:06
28/06/2006 18:06
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I'm in favour of the coupe vs section. Especially some people who are dellusional about what they're racing or how fast their car really is. Certain posts in the coupe vs section proves to me that crack doesn't smoke itself! TBH I hate posts like this. But posonboy I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because I'm not a father. Films like the Fast and the Furious promote street racing to the masses far more than a little forum with about 100 people viewing a coupe vs post. The coupe vs section doesn't make street racing look cool. It's just stating fact. If any of you have seen Fast and Furious Tokyo drift it really promotes street racing as a cool thing that girls/money are involved There are far worse things in the world than the coupe vs forum. We should have a "The coupe helped me get this girl naked section" or a "willy waving section". 
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140796
28/06/2006 18:13
28/06/2006 18:13
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Quote:
"willy waving section"
With pictures 
What frustrates me about the coupe vs section is that people post that they demolished a Porsche at 140, and then they next day they come along and bitch about having been caught speeding and ask how to get out of it... (I'm sure barnacle among others will agree with me here)
PS I don't read the coupe vs section...
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140797
28/06/2006 18:20
28/06/2006 18:20
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I'm with Truffle on this one. At least with a Coupe Vs section, the majority of those relevant posts stay within that section. The choice then is down to the individual if they want to have a read through the latest stories on there. I don't believe for one minute that having posts about racing other cars on public roads encourages this type of behaviour. For those users who don't want to look at that section, they only need to refrain from viewing it. And isn't that a lot fairer for all so that the choice is there for everyone? 
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140798
29/06/2006 00:03
29/06/2006 00:03
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I think it should stay, I have had a few posts on there, and I wanted to share a fantastic run I had with a modded 200sx, and although we were driving very quickly, we both were in control at all times, did not do anything silly, and were on a road with good visability etc. I would never risk personal injury trying to out gun another car, as I have too much at risk currently, however having a safe blast and sharing the results I do not see as a problem.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140799
29/06/2006 00:09
29/06/2006 00:09
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Does anyone actually read the Coupe VS section?
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140800
29/06/2006 00:28
29/06/2006 00:28
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Perhaps we could conduct a poll to see if it should stay or not. 
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140801
29/06/2006 00:58
29/06/2006 00:58
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I think half of them are made up anyway.Stil entertaining read though
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140802
29/06/2006 01:41
29/06/2006 01:41
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,071
Chertsey in the Thames
bockers
Hon Club Member 007
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Hon Club Member 007
Forum Fossil
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,071
Chertsey in the Thames
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I have to laugh, as this appeared there were two other threads. Coupé top speeds and Coupé 0-60 times. Drive it like you stole it is my opinion John (40yr old git)
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140803
29/06/2006 02:11
29/06/2006 02:11
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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With 31 topics to use, there are only 8 that have more posts than the Coupe v section. That in itself answers the question if anyone reads it or do we need it on the forum. Makes for some good reading and some funnies along the way, Where would some of the forum member post if it wasnt here. I for one read it every night, and then go straight out in the coupe to see what I can race flatout through a 30 zone. Maybe I should stop looking in there, or maybe some people shouldnt think coupe owners are all monkey see monkey do !!!
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140806
29/06/2006 03:08
29/06/2006 03:08
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Quote:
OK, who the fccuk am I to ask for it to be removed?
I think you said it all there, if you dont like it you dont have to look on there.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140807
29/06/2006 03:12
29/06/2006 03:12
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Quote:
I agree that 99% of what gets posted on the "vs" forum is pointless willy-waving, but it's easy enough to ignore (as I do ... most of the time).
If there wasn't a special place for it, and I mean "special" in the "special bus" sense, then it would just turn up in other forums, so I say let the dedicated forum stay.
I couldn't agree more ! Best to have it for those that want it, and the rest of us just ignore it .
Phil
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140808
29/06/2006 06:13
29/06/2006 06:13
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,694
Midlands
MCMike
Club member 2095
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Club member 2095
Forum is my job
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,694
Midlands
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You only have to look in the tuning section to see how much money & time people are spending on making their Coupes go faster.
I find it interesting to find out what sort of 'real-world' performance some of these Coupes can achieve, in terms of what performance cars they can embarrass.
I'm sure everyone has opened up their Coupe a little bit now and again, if not why don't we all drive round in cheap runabouts ?
1972 Triumph Stag
1984 Alfasud TI
1999 Fiat Coupe Turbo LE
2005 350Z
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140809
29/06/2006 06:19
29/06/2006 06:19
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Quote:
if not why don't we all drive round in cheap runabouts?
... or red LE's.. 
Only jokin' Mike
Oh, I agree with Mike. Also, if you get rid, other threads will just pop up.
Maybe we should have a coupe vs coupe thread
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140810
29/06/2006 07:07
29/06/2006 07:07
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,267
North Oxfordshire
simonj
Competition Level
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Competition Level
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,267
North Oxfordshire
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Quote:
Quote:
OK, who the fccuk am I to ask for it to be removed?
I think you said it all there, if you dont like it you dont have to look on there.
He didn't mean that if you read the initial post - he was proposing getting rid as in his view it promotes racing, dangerous driving and doesn't give a good impression of the forum rather than just not liking it very much.
As far as I'm concerned, I think it should stay and agree with many reasons people have outlined above.
If you are going to race on the road, you are going to race on the road, I can't see people being tempted to goad that spotty be-capped kid in the Nova at the lights purely because they read about 'Coopgimp's' run in with a Lambo on the Eastbourne gyratory over their coffee at work.
I enjoy the posts, both serious and ridiculous and without the Coupe VS section, we wouldn't have been treated to AndrewR's two best posts.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140811
29/06/2006 08:07
29/06/2006 08:07
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,821
Bath
Fishy_Dave
I need some sleep
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I need some sleep
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,821
Bath
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I too agree with most of the above, on both sides. I've posted in there a few times myself and enjoyed doing so. Let's face it, your other half really is not going to be excited about you having chased about with an XYZ car, but maybe a few people on here might be.  Barnacle, you mentioned a good point about being an old git  . I'd like to think that some of the main contributers to the vs. thread may be encouraged (rehabilitated ) to attend trackdays with us, as an alternative to racing about on the roads. I'm also pleased to see that comments relating to speeding in stupid places or intimidating others are generally stamped on. Some of the other forums I belong to have banned all talk of road racing, but if anything it makes inter-forum rivalry worse, as they are not allowed to 'prove' their car is quicker than another. I'd vote to keep it, with pinch of salt and beating stick close to hand.
Corvette C6 (manual of course)
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140812
29/06/2006 08:13
29/06/2006 08:13
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,821
Bath
Fishy_Dave
I need some sleep
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I need some sleep
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,821
Bath
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For those of you who may not have seen AndrewRs posts on this subject, here they are - Quote:
Why not replace the free text box for messages with a standard story with a series of options for the details ...
"I was out [today/yesterday/recently/on parole] and saw a [Saxo VTS/Evo/Impreza/Audi/Porsche/Ferrari/Lambo/Saturn V rocket] [in front of me/come up behind me/parked].
I dropped [it to 2nd/it to 3rd/it to 4th/my sandwich] and gave it some welly and saw him [vanish behind me/vanish miles behind me/drop a car length behind me/scratch his arse and change CD].
I know he was trying because [he looked like the sort that would/he said so later, in court/he'd seen his wife in my car/if he wasn't then this story would be pathetic] but [he couldn't keep up/could keep up, but couldn't get past/overtook me easily but looked slightly surprised that I was going so fast ... or maybe was burping or something].
When I turned off he [gave me a friendly wave/made a note of my reg to find me later/pulled me over and gave me a summons/had already been home for 45 minutes/wondered what the **** that had all been about].
Anyway it was a great race and it turns out that my penis isn't tiny after all".
Job's a good 'un.
and...
Quote:
My post was actually an update of something I wrote more than 15 years ago for a friend of mine, John, whose opening line on arriving pretty much anywhere was, "I had a great race on the way here".
John had a race if ...
1. He overtook somebody.
2. Somebody overtook him.
3. Somebody was doing the same speed as him.
4. Somebody tried to overtake him, but wasn't quick enough.
5. He tried to overtake somebody, but he wasn't quick enough.
6. On a motorway or dual-carriageway he passed a car that should have been quicker than his, even if it was on the hard-shoulder changing a wheel.
Funnily enough I think he'd feel right at home in the "Vs" section
Hope you don't mind me quoting these again Andrew, they still make me laugh, in fact I have tears rolling down my cheeks.
Corvette C6 (manual of course)
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140813
29/06/2006 10:08
29/06/2006 10:08
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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really good read ... laughed like mad too !
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140815
29/06/2006 12:29
29/06/2006 12:29
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Thanks to everyone for their comments.
Unfortunately the simple idea of not reading about something does not solve anything. If we choose not to read about famine or natural disasters it does not stop people dying does it?
Opinion is obviously divided and I am no crusader so if it stays, it stays. However, I see no harm in trying to promote safe and responsible driving.
If we 'grumpy old men' manage to save one life by getting a message across then it is worthwhile is it not?
For those who think they were born to race please just think about it a little and drive safely - and try a trackday.
As I said, not a crusader so no more posts from me on this thread.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140816
29/06/2006 13:49
29/06/2006 13:49
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,706
Gone
Jimbo
Je suis un Coupé
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Je suis un Coupé
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,706
Gone
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Chris, I cant see how removing the coupe vs section will promote 'safe driving' ? There will still be the traffic light grand prix and dual carrige way encounters that we all come accross now and again, even us older more sensible drivers will still have a little play but so long as you know your own limits then thats just part of being a red blooded, car owning guy. I say keep it, if people want to post in there then let them do it, I dont post in there but I do read it (only to moderate it though)
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140819
29/06/2006 17:16
29/06/2006 17:16
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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There I was, starting from the back, but I knew what I was doing,.. I was weaving in and out, and finally I got right in front of all of them! I knew I was faster than the lot of them,... when I heard an old geezer from the back... "OY!,. get to the back of the bloody queue"...damm I hate queuing in post offices! Don't you love political correctness,..I think we should all wear brown clothes, as all the other colours hurt my eyes   Joe
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140820
29/06/2006 18:22
29/06/2006 18:22
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Thanks to everyone for their comments.
Unfortunately the simple idea of not reading about something does not solve anything. If we choose not to read about famine or natural disasters it does not stop people dying does it?
Opinion is obviously divided and I am no crusader so if it stays, it stays. However, I see no harm in trying to promote safe and responsible driving.
If we 'grumpy old men' manage to save one life by getting a message across then it is worthwhile is it not?
For those who think they were born to race please just think about it a little and drive safely - and try a trackday.
As I said, not a crusader so no more posts from me on this thread.
Eh?
That's an interesting argument. Absolute nonsense of course, but interesting.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140821
29/06/2006 18:38
29/06/2006 18:38
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
'Coopgimp's' run in with a Lambo on the Eastbourne gyratory
Damn! Missed that one. Got a link Simon?
Leave the section alone. Some of us are young kids who like racing about, some of us are old gits who wear slippers. And some of us are old gits who have the odd race and then put their slippers back on
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140822
29/06/2006 18:40
29/06/2006 18:40
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Quote:
'Coopgimp's' run in with a Lambo on the Eastbourne gyratory
Damn! Missed that one. Got a link Simon?
Leave the section alone. Some of us are young kids who like racing about, some of us are old gits who wear slippers. And some of us are old gits who have the odd race and then put their slippers back on
Haha, so this is why you live in Eastbourne then
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140823
29/06/2006 18:51
29/06/2006 18:51
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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The 'coupe vs' section is wide open for discussion, everyone has an opinion, and most of them are valid. If the section was shut down, would it save a life? It's possible. On the other hand, promoting track days could also cause someone somewhere to lose a life. Should these be shut down? City planners don't stop building houses on busy roads because there is a higher chance of someone getting run over. Opinions and arguments that state death as a possible outcome are widespread, it is the most emotive way of getting an opinion across, as no one wants to be thought of as disregarding life. Everything is life threatening, to a degree. You only have to read those amusing reports that are released every now and then, stating that 43 people died last year from falling over whilst putting their underpants on, or how 268 people were admitted to A&E in 2003 after choking on a cheesey Wotsit. Simply owning a coupe instead of a Micra probably increases your chances of death. Owning a car fullstop increases your chances of pushing up the daisies by a mile. Shutting down the thread is seen as a solution, but a solution to what? What is the problem? Will shutting down the thread REALLY solve the problem? To my mind there isn't a problem to solve. Me, I couldn't care less, I don't even read the thread, and in 5ish years of forum posting I don't think that I've ever contributed to the thread. If it was shut down today I wouldn't even notice.. but to start saying that it is killing people, or promotes death or comparable to world famine is a bunch of arse. The thread is not about road racing, it is 'coupe vs', which could be track based encounters. If people want to post their dangerous public driving stories in there they will, if the thread wasn't there they would elsewhere. Jesus, I really am rambling on now. My head hurts... going for a lie down...
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140825
29/06/2006 22:09
29/06/2006 22:09
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Hmmm....some good points made for and against. Nice to see such a lot of well thought out arguments. Suspect you wouldn't get that on the Citroen Saxo forum (if there is one)
From my own point of view, I think that the moderator's have a duty to delete posts which feature behaviour which is clearly irresponsible/illegal/likely to encourage others to do the same. Racing on the road is stupid,illegal and morally indefensible. Everyone has probably had a rush of blood/red mist moment at some time during their driving career, me included but it doesn't make it right.
The forum should encourage responsible driving and for me the "if you don't like it, don't read it" argument doesn't wash. Would you be happy to take this view if I started a thread on how to "groom" children on the internet for sex?
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140826
29/06/2006 22:52
29/06/2006 22:52
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,988
Sunny Darlo
Wishy
Forum is my life
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Forum is my life
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,988
Sunny Darlo
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Anyone looked over there while we're discussing it here and detect a sense of irony?
Up yours Photobucket.
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140827
29/06/2006 23:41
29/06/2006 23:41
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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Quote:
I think that the moderator's have a duty to delete posts which feature behaviour which is clearly irresponsible/illegal/likely to encourage others to do the same.
I'd agree with that but otherwise leave the section as it is
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140828
29/06/2006 23:59
29/06/2006 23:59
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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Quote:
For those of you who may not have seen AndrewRs posts on this subject, here they are -
Quote:
Why not replace the free text box for messages with a standard story with a series of options for the details ...
"I was out [today/yesterday/recently/on parole] and saw a [Saxo VTS/Evo/Impreza/Audi/Porsche/Ferrari/Lambo/Saturn V rocket] [in front of me/come up behind me/parked].
I dropped [it to 2nd/it to 3rd/it to 4th/my sandwich] and gave it some welly and saw him [vanish behind me/vanish miles behind me/drop a car length behind me/scratch his arse and change CD].
I know he was trying because [he looked like the sort that would/he said so later, in court/he'd seen his wife in my car/if he wasn't then this story would be pathetic] but [he couldn't keep up/could keep up, but couldn't get past/overtook me easily but looked slightly surprised that I was going so fast ... or maybe was burping or something].
When I turned off he [gave me a friendly wave/made a note of my reg to find me later/pulled me over and gave me a summons/had already been home for 45 minutes/wondered what the **** that had all been about].
Anyway it was a great race and it turns out that my penis isn't tiny after all".
Job's a good 'un.
and...
Quote:
My post was actually an update of something I wrote more than 15 years ago for a friend of mine, John, whose opening line on arriving pretty much anywhere was, "I had a great race on the way here".
John had a race if ...
1. He overtook somebody.
2. Somebody overtook him.
3. Somebody was doing the same speed as him.
4. Somebody tried to overtake him, but wasn't quick enough.
5. He tried to overtake somebody, but he wasn't quick enough.
6. On a motorway or dual-carriageway he passed a car that should have been quicker than his, even if it was on the hard-shoulder changing a wheel.
Funnily enough I think he'd feel right at home in the "Vs" section
Hope you don't mind me quoting these again Andrew, they still make me laugh, in fact I have tears rolling down my cheeks.
Of course, some credit has to go the utter genius who inspired that classic response from AndrewR
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Re: coupe vs. section - get rid?
#140829
30/06/2006 01:58
30/06/2006 01:58
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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Europa has made by far the most coherent argument so far on this subject so I'm happy to hang onto his ideological coat-tails. The coupe vs section is one of the most entertaining parts of the forum and although some of the post are stupid and irresopnsible, that's true of every section of every forum. So there.
Meanwhile, I know someone already posted a link to this but it deserves repriniting in all it's glory. Best post of all time imo:
AnrewR's Coupe vs The Oppressive Forces of Reality post
My first victim this morning was some tarted up Corsa, filled to the brim with teenagers, wearing their backwards baseball caps backwards so that the peaks were pointing forward. Glancing at my newly fitted Howhardaretheytryingometer I saw it had swung right up to 100%, or Noel Edmunds level of trying.
Naturally I dispensed with them in short order and with such ease that they'd been gone for more than 5 minutes before I noticed that I was still on my drive and hadn't even turn the ignition on.
Swinging on to the road, with the engine burbling nicely, I was immediately challenged by an oncoming furniture lorry, its horn beeping in a testosterone challenge to the superiority of my Italian supercar.
I have to admit it was tight until I realised that I was hitting the red-line because I was in neutral and not because I was really, really going for it. That also explained why the lorry was vanishing and why my dog was OK with it's front paws on my drivers window. Turns out it can't run at 150mph on its hind legs after all.
Upwards and onwards. My journey to work is around 25 miles and normally takes me around 8 minutes, but I am helped by having removed all surplace items from my interior, glove box and boot, using hydrogen to fill my tyres, always having a dump before I leave the house and leaving a suit at work so that I can drive there naked.
Thanks to these high performance measures I was able to leave a trail of Scooby-Doos, EVO IXs, Aston Martins and Saxos shuddering in my wake, many of them wearing expressions indicating that they obviously thought my car was a Ferrari of some kind, or maybe some sort of ultra-Lamborghini.
The only real challenge I faced was on a fast section of twisties where I suddenly realised that somebody was trying to overtake me. Glancing across I saw a one of them brand new Swedish supercars that holds the lap-record on Top Gear ... and it was being driven by Nigel Mansell ... and it had a big sign on the side reading, "Powered by NOx".
So it really gave me a hard time until I got up to third, at 150, and then I managed to pull 70 or 80 car lengths ahead, but using binoculars I could see that Nigel waw giving me the thumbs up. Nice bloke, shame he can't drive for toffee.
I was about to back off a bit, but then I realised that the light behind me was trying it on. Now I've no objection to people driving quickly, but this light was, literally, going as fast as it's physically possibly to go ... and in a 40 limit!
There's no way I could observe that sort of behaviour without showing the wave/particle radiation just what an idiot it was being, by driving even faster.
I'm happy to admit that it wasn't easy to lose it, especially when I had to write a 600-page physics article proving special relativity wrong and, thus, allowing me to accelerate beyond 186,000 miles per second, but thanks to the Coop's brilliant 4th gear I was able to manage it and that light looked pretty stupid.
At least it would have looked pretty stupid if I could have seen it. Which I couldn't. Because I was going faster, like.
When I finally got to work I was delighted to see they'd arranged a ticker-tape parade for me and the coop and journalists from all of the motoring magazines were writing articles explaining why the coop was the greatest car ever in the entire history of cars and how there'd never be a car better, ever.
So, pretty good morning, really, but looking out of the window there are some tachyons in McDonald's car-park, over the road, acting pretty cocky.
Looks like I'll have to learn their theoretical asses a lesson.
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AndrewR, what a great guy he is.
#140830
30/06/2006 02:14
30/06/2006 02:14
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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No, really, you're all too kind.
Except for those of you who haven't posted to say how much you love me ... you're not kind enough.
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: AndrewR, what a great guy he is.
#140833
30/06/2006 05:09
30/06/2006 05:09
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Perhaps there should be a Coupe vs. AndrewR thread?
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Re: AndrewR, what a great guy he is.
#140834
30/06/2006 17:51
30/06/2006 17:51
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
No, really, you're all too kind.
Except for those of you who haven't posted to say how much you love me ... you're not kind enough.
All the best/cleverest people have dark red metallic 20V Turbos.....
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