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Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
#1600735
17/05/2017 19:12
17/05/2017 19:12
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200 england
came2dance
OP
I AM a Coop
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OP
I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
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Couldn't have gone much worse! In my minds eye I envisaged a lovely summer day, a lazy drive home on A roads and lunch outside a pub somewhere. What we got was absolute pouring rain and 300 yards vision if you were lucky. As it happened I hadn't looked at the route home sure I could just sat nav it and pick up the A49 somewhere around Worcester. I blame it on being too busy and rushing but in reality that's just how lazy I've become. So the first mistake was forgetting my Sat Nav and my phone! I set off in the pouring rain on the M5. Smart motorways all the way. Use the hard shoulder 50 mph. Massive queues. As I reached the turnoff for Worcester my drivers wiper went stupid. Only wiping half it's side of the windscreen. That helped me make my mind up and I turned off the M5. Soon as I did.....Bang and the wiper had gone! It was stopped against the A pillar and I turned down some country road to take a look at it. It was a bit floppy and I had no tools with me. I carried on down the country road hoping to come across one of those country garages that can fix anything but no such luck. Driving with my head on the passenger side I eventually came across a little village with a Shell Garage. I popped in and asked one of the two Mrs Browns (as in Mrs Browns Boys) that were running the place if they had a spanner or socket I could borrow. This was met with shrugs but I could see an adjustable on the shelf behind the counter so asked if I could borrow it. I swapped the longer drivers side wiper blade with the passenger side blade hoping that I'd get better coverage and managed to tighten the wiper a little. It was giving half a movement again so I asked them how i could find the A49 heading North and they just shrugged again and said head for the motorway. Really helpful ladies thanks. I kept going and followed the road into Worcester. My god it was busy and all the roads were Turn Left only or Turn right only and get in lane! I had no idea what road I was looking for and no idea whether the places signposted were North South East or West! I was lost. I saw a sign for the M5 and decided i had better put up with the motorway. After a five mile or so journey North on the motorway I passed the junction I had previously turned off at for Worcester I carried on using the wipers on manual and having to set them off every 10 to 20 seconds, heart in my mouth every time. Travelling at 50 with all the lorries, steering with my right hand and stretching across to look out the passenger side. Thank god for the long gearing on the coop allowing me to flit effortlessly between 30 and 60 mph. Except the wiper didn't like anything over 50. Over 50 it didn't return to it's proper parked position and the wipers were dangerously close to fouling each other anyway. Traffic was awful. Rain was awful and eventually, luckily as we left the smart motorway section, the wipers collided! I pulled straight onto the hard shoulder and managed to untangle them. Then after 140 miles and with just 20 miles or so to go they collided again accompanied by a smashing sound and fragments of shrapnel crossing my screen. Hard shoulder again quick. The passenger wiper had gone west! I took the useless drivers side wiper off and put it on the passenger side and drove on with the drivers side wiper stalk sticking out in front like a unicorns horn so it didn't damage the windscreen. Luckily it had almost stopped raining and I made progress at 40 mph ish which was as fast as the traffic jam known as the M6 was moving. I was approaching junctions for Warrington now and was tempted to turn off but Warrington can be a nightmare so I decided to stick to the M6. Just as i made this decision I passes a police car sat on the hard shoulder keeping an eye on the traffic jam. I thought "He's bound to spot my sticky out wiper" and sure enough he pulled out onto the motorway. Next junction was approaching and I pulled off hoping he'd stay on the motorway but he followed me off and after a minute put the blue lights on and pulled me over. Uh oh! He was very nice really (and I was very polite as always when pulled over) He said have you got an issue sir? I said "yes, my wipers. They collided and it's smashed the drivers side" He said "Oh have you far to go" so I said "No St Helens" and he asked was I alright driving like that. I said yes and he said "Take care" "And switch your hazard warning lights off, that's why I followed you" My hazard lights stayed on all the way home. Jim had mentioned that the alarm wasn't working and to use the key. Somehow i must have pressed the key fob whilst messing about on the hard shoulder. All in all an eventful day A six and a half hour trip home! I still enjoyed driving the coop and it was great meeting you Jim. Shame being off the road for such a minor issue as wipers but I'll have to get them sorted before I can go out playing again.
www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600749
17/05/2017 22:13
17/05/2017 22:13
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,527 Aldershot
PeteP
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
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Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,527
Aldershot
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Years ago I dropped my wife to be at Euston Station very early one snowy Monday morning so she could catch the first train to her work in Coventry.
About 10 minutes later, on my way back the build up of snow forced the passenger side wiper off its spindle so it got lost. The snow continued and the same thing happened to the drivers' side wiper going over the Chiswick Flyover, so that one was lost too,
That left me driving the rest of the way to work near Guildford with my head sticking out of the open side window as the snow kept falling. The Spitfire's heater wasn't that great either.
In a complete coincidence, Begbie's current house is built on the exact spot where my office was all that time ago.
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600779
18/05/2017 11:00
18/05/2017 11:00
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,907 Auld Reekie
Edinburgh
Club President, member225
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Club President, member225
Forum veteran
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,907
Auld Reekie
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Gosh, nightmare C2D Rains/pours etc Glad you did get home at least So this not infrequent occurrence of wiper crossing.....are they just coming loose on the spindle/spline? Or is it a more sinister linkage failure?
BumbleBee carer
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600781
18/05/2017 11:38
18/05/2017 11:38
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,527 Aldershot
PeteP
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
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Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,527
Aldershot
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The splines fail inside the arm and inevitably at some stage the clamping pressure of the bolt is insufficient.
I had to replace the drivers side arm on my coupe 3 or 4 years ago.
16VT and X1/9 1500
We must all do our part for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600795
18/05/2017 14:50
18/05/2017 14:50
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,367 Staffordshire
Nigel
Forum veteran
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Forum veteran
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,367
Staffordshire
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Because of the design of the linkages, the driver's wiper is usually the first to fail - the linkage from the motor to the passenger wiper is a short, sturdy arm with large bushes. The link to the driver's wiper is a long spindly arm with small bushes.
the bushes, which are plastic, wear until they simply fall off the metal ball.
The other issue is that the motor isn't very strong, so when driving at "substantial" speeds, the wiper arms complete their upwards sweep about five times faster than the downward sweep
As above - Rain-X is your friend - I generally don't bother with wipers at speeds over 50mph, regardless of how heavy the rain is (actually, the heavier the better...)
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600798
18/05/2017 15:12
18/05/2017 15:12
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,115 South Cheshire
Lucifer
Forum is my job
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Forum is my job
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,115
South Cheshire
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no idea whether the places signposted were North South East or West! The passenger wiper had gone west!
At least some part of the driver/vehicle combination knew which bloody way it was supposed to be going Great story, and congrats on the purchase! Have fun!
2016 Jaguar F-Type R AWD; 2017 BMW M4 Competition Package; 2015 Range Rover Evoque 2.2 Tech
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Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup
[Re: came2dance]
#1600834
18/05/2017 21:09
18/05/2017 21:09
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783 In the coupe.
magooagain
Club Member 259
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Club Member 259
Forum is my life
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783
In the coupe.
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Glad you got home ok in the end Chris.
Enjoy the coupe mate.
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